Why Do I Do This to Myself?

August 22, 2026

Michigan’s Mackinac Island sees 1 million visitors each year. And on Day 8 of our latest journey, we were two of those million.

Our excursion to the motor-vehicle-free resort island had some truly enjoyable moments. From the stunning scenery we saw while tricycling the island’s 8.2 mile perimeter to the free tasting available in 13 fudge shops (no, we didn’t try them all!) to the amazing views of Mighty Mac (the 5-mile-long suspension bridge that connects Michigan’s Lower Peninsula to its Upper Peninsula).

And we could not have asked for better weather. . . mostly sunny with a bit of breeze and a high temperature in the mid-70s.

And to hear clip clop clip clop of horses’ hooves instead of cars, trucks and motorcycles. . . priceless!

But it could have been better. If only my anxiety hadn’t gotten in the way.

You see, being an older female, my body sometimes doesn’t function as well as it used to. And anxiety tends to make certain situations worse. It was over 8 miles around the island with only 1 bathroom stop at the half-way point. No problem, right?

I thought I had it all planned out. I did my research. I studied the facts. With a destination as popular as this one I knew we would need to get up early, take the first ferry of the day to the island, be the first in line to rent a bicycle, and bike around the island before we did our shopping and before it got so crowded. It was going to be a “perfect day” because I knew what I was doing.

Some of you may remember Terry’s post from February of this year about how our plans are not necessarily God’s plans. Check out that post if you’re new here or don’t remember it. . . it’s a real eye-opener.

We did get up early that day. We were on that first ferry to the island (which I still highly recommend). But because of the undue stress I put on myself, the ride around the island was pretty miserable for me. All I could really think about was if I was going to make it to the pit stop.

And I did. Thank you, God.

But I missed out on the joy of the day.

Has this ever happened to any of you?

I went through the motions of checking things off my game plan. We biked around the island. We sampled the fudge. We bought souvenirs. But an unsettled feeling lingered and then guilt crept in because I felt like I had spoiled the “perfect” day for Terry.

In the several discussions about this trip we’ve had since then, Terry continues to say it was still a good day. We came away with lots of unique memories and wonderful photos. And it was a learning experience for both of us. He’s becoming better at understanding what it’s like to have anxiety and I’m learning to communicate how it feels when it tries to control me.

It certainly wasn’t the easy going, enjoy the day as it happens kind of pleasure Terry and I prefer. Maybe next time I will remember:

Isaiah 56:8, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts. Neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.”

And hopefully next time, I’ll leave my anxiety behind.